I met Ricky at Cornerstone Baptist Church In Stockbridge, where they offered almost free Karate classes. I had always been interested in martial arts and even took hapkido classes as a student at Reinhardt College. I got the first belt but was busy and had other things to do back then. When my boys were growing up, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were big, so they were also interested in martial arts. Even Jennifer got into it for a while.
Studying martial arts was something Ricky had also wanted to do, so we had that in common. He had two daughters, Hope and Courtnie, who would also get into Karate. So, it was a family deal for both of us. But even that doesn’t fully explain it. Sometimes you meet a person, and you just click. Ricky and I tested for every belt together and worked our way up through Fifth Degree Black Belt together.
After we got our Black Belts, Master Kenneth Daniel turned over the classes there at Cornerstone to us. We complemented each other exceptionally well. He was better with his hands. I was better with my feet. He was better at sparring. I was better at forms. He let me be the nice guy, and he was the bad guy, the disciplined one. When one of us had to be away, the other took over.
But, I’ll tell you the one thing I remember most. I don’t recall the circumstances at the time. Maybe something was going on with Jennifer, or maybe not. But, he told me in all seriousness, “If you ever need to talk, just call me. Anytime. We’ll meet up at a restaurant or somewhere and just talk”. It meant so incredibly much to me because I knew he meant it – anytime, anywhere. I may have told him I appreciated it, but that didn’t express my genuine gratitude. I couldn’t have done that without bawling like a baby. Heck, I’m crying now, remembering it all these years later. It was his way of saying something I had heard somewhere: “When you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.”
Years went by, and we eventually retired from teaching Karate. We would keep up on Facebook, but life goes on. When Jennifer died, we had the visitation, and two of the first people there were Ricky and his wife, Debra. We caught up some, and it was just like old times.
I’ve heard it said that friends are the family we choose. That doesn’t ring true with me. Ricky and I didn’t find each other. We were brought together by God – to be ministered to, which led to a ministry to others. But also to give us a forever friendship. What a wonderful gift!
“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.”
– Henri Nouwen