Aunt Judy passed away on June 6, 2023. Growing up in the 1960s on Jonesboro Road was a blessing my generation didn’t fully appreciate as we went through it. We had our parents, of course. There was also a sense that every parent watched every child, and you could be disciplined by any of them. We knew that. But a couple of ladies took it to another level. To my generation, we had a bonus grandmother in Aunt Ruby and a bonus mother in Aunt Judy. Those ladies loved us like we were their own. Somewhere in my life, I heard someone ask a question to a mother with many children. They asked her how she was able to divide her love among all her children. She responded that she didn’t divide her love at all. She multiplied. I don’t know if Aunt Judy was exceptionally skilled at math, but she could certainly multiply.
If you expect this to be a eulogy, you will be disappointed. Eddie Wise and Pastor Jack Pickel did that better than I ever could. Maybe I can add a point or two. Eddie mentioned some mystical Chaffin gene, and I won’t go there. I will mention a quality that I noticed in Chaffin women. They are tough. I don’t think it’s genetic because I’ve seen Chaffin women with it who aren’t biologically Chaffins. Maybe it’s God’s gift to any female who has to live with any male Chaffin. That’s a theory that works for me. Aunt Judy sure had it. She dealt with serious health issues for many years and had to be tough to get through it. Praise God all those issues are behind her now.
If you’ve read my post “Two Boys and a Funeral,” you will see that I got a Godwink at my paternal grandmother’s funeral, which I missed at the time. I wondered if there would be one at Aunt Judy’s funeral. I felt like there might be and didn’t want to miss it. For my grandmother, it was two boys playing in the mud. What would it be for Aunt Judy? What Would Judy Want?
After the graveside service, we assembled in the fellowship hall at County Line Church for a meal with the family. As I sat there, four young ladies were seated at the table next to ours. I thought back to many years ago when I had those young ladies in the Middle School Sunday School class I taught. I am using the word “taught” here loosely. I had no classroom management skills whatsoever. Those girls had me wrapped around their fingers, and they knew it. Anyway, here they were gathered together all these years later, rallying around one of their own who had lost her grandmother, rekindling a friendship. I watched them pass around a baby. I knew whose baby it was, but it would have been tough to figure out if I hadn’t known. They were all loving on him and each other. And there it was. There was the Godwink. Aunt Judy would have loved to see that enduring friendship and a child being loved. Maybe she did.
Not long after my mother died, my daddy was visiting with Wallace and Judy. I don’t remember the exact context, but Judy was speaking about her own death and relaying that she looked forward to reuniting with my mother, her friend. Today, she is rekindling that friendship and enjoying fellowship with friends and family. There’s a song called ‘Celebrate Me Home” by The Perry’s. My mother wanted my niece Carlee to sing it at her funeral, which she did. It talks about being torn between this world and heaven, two places where she had loved ones. I don’t want you to take it as a message that we shouldn’t grieve. It doesn’t say that, it’s unrealistic and may not even be healthy The famous grief counselor, Dr. Earl Grollman said, “”Grief is not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity; the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.” However, the song tells us it’s not the only thing we should do. We should also celebrate her home. I believe Aunt Judy would want that, too.
“When the time comes and I am standing at the river
That separates the two worlds that I love,
Torn between my precious friends and my family
and the place of peace that’s waiting up above,
Hold my hand and stay there by my side.
And when I finally step into the tide,
Celebrate me home.
Celebrate me there.
Celebrate me in that land of wonder where nothing can compare.
Celebrate me in that place
Celebrate me saved by grace
Don’t just sit and weep because I’m gone
Celebrate me Home.”